As I sit here desperately waiting for my wife to return from her trip (she was a part of the band the at the GenReal conference in Kansas City) I quickly noticed a lot of things in her absence during the past four days. I wonder if this is what she experiences when I leave.
Firstly, I realized is that single parenthood is tough, even if it is temporary. There are no breaks, if you are a present parent, so your patience is continually tested, and fatigue sets in rapidly (still true when both parents live under the same roof). My children were looking for things that I can not give or be. I can not give breast milk (no I will not wear that thing from “Meet the Fockers”), I do not have the same emotional, affectional, and intuitional make up as my wife, therefore I can not meet all my children’s needs. Which interestingly produced more, than normal, brother battles and communication breakdown in conflicts.
Secondly, I missed her. Which I never took into consideration when I would travel from place to place to speak. Yes of course we would talk and video chat, but I it’s her physical presence (not implying sex here). I do not get to see her pick up the kids and cook the food (a role we both do but she is a better at it) while trying to carry on a conversation with me, yes my wife is a beast! I find myself putting some of her shampoo in the bath water for the kids so she is with us in scent.
Thirdly, I noticed is the absence of “Fun Dad” (a term I heard from my friend Paul) and full presence of “Dad Dad” which is a mix of Moufsa and Rambo. With inconsistency in the flow of the day to day, and another pair of eyes, there is a rise in stress. In turn this means that “Fun Dad” only last so long. Like Moufsa I’m always on duty to not let Simba (Ezra and Emmanuel) get caught in wildebeest stampede (choke, drown, drumstick wars, fall, jump off the top bunk). Now I know that I have to be that for my boys when the time call for it, but they miss “Fun Dad” as I do.
Lastly, it’s poop detail. Changing diapers is a parents responsibility and I mean those smiles while a fibrous odour is in the air is worth a million bucks! But the poop detail I’m talking about is anything that doesn’t stay inside the walls of a diaper. My youngest, Emmanuel, was in the bathtub along side his older brother, Ezra. All was normal water flying everywhere and then it stopped. I looked at Ezra as his facial language changed, from enjoyment of the moment to confusion; then I looked at Emmanuel and understood why. Emmanuel was holding two organic brownies while the water around him had falling apart poop, mostly beans, apple skin, pickle ends, and corn. I had to scoop it out with my hands because that’s what Dads do. But the worst part about this was I did not have my partner, my wife, my best friend, there to laugh out loud with me (I know this is full cheese). But I love when she laughs uncontrollably. After 4 days, the kids, the family, I missed her…
#HeRedeems #Wife #Kids #Blessed #Love